The Ultimate Cat Laser (Obviously, That’s Me - Ainsley Two)
The Ultimate Cat Laser (Obviously, That’s Me - Ainsley Two)
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I project a wildly unpredictable laser
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I run on a 15-minute timer
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I turn on automatically
Want me by [earliest_date], ORDER TODAY!
MEET YOUR CAT’S NEW OBSESSION—ME, AINSLEY TWO.
Oh, hello there, human. You’re busy? Too bad, because your cat is bored and plotting their next act of destruction.
But don’t worry—I’m here to save the day.
I’m Ainsley Two, the automatic laser toy designed to entertain your mischievous little furball while you’re off doing… whatever it is humans do.
HERE'S THE DEAL:
- I project a wildly unpredictable laser dot across your floor or walls (chaos, but in a fun way).
- I come with three different speed settings, so whether your cat is a professional sprinter or a lazy couch gremlin, I’ve got them covered.
- You can adjust my head angle to aim the laser higher or lower—because not all cats are pro athletes.
- I run on a 15-minute timer, then I take a break so your furry menace doesn’t collapse from overexcitement. But don’t worry, I’m not done—I stay in standby mode for 2 hours before I’m ready to jump back into action.
- Oh, and I turn on automatically when I sense movement—so if your cat decides 3 AM is the perfect time for a zoomies session, I’m there. You? You get to sleep. You’re welcome.
- Oh and yes, I’m rechargeable, whisper-quiet, and effortlessly stylish.
Worried about your lazy, couch-dwelling loaf of a cat? I’ll get them moving. Got a hyperactive little gremlin? I’ll tire them out. Basically, I’m here to make sure your cat has fun, stays active, and stops knocking things off your shelves out of boredom.
So, go ahead—add me to your cart. Your cat may not thank you, but trust me, they’ll be obsessed.
Q: Can I adjust the laser height?
A: Yes, obviously. My head tilts, so you can make the laser lower for the ground-dwellers or higher for the jumpy acrobats.
Q: Does it turn on by itself?
A: Yep. If your cat struts into the room looking for trouble, I sense movement and spring into action. (But don’t worry, I won’t activate again for two hours after my 15-minute zoomies session—I know how to keep things balanced.)
Q: Is it loud?
A: Do I look like a vacuum cleaner? No. I’m whisper-quiet. I’m not here to scare your cat, just to entertain their chaotic little soul.
Q: Is it safe for my cat?
A: Do you think I’d let anything happen to my adoring fans? My laser is 100% pet-safe, designed specifically for feline shenanigans. No overheating, no scary noises—just pure, unhinged fun.
Q: How do I charge you?
A: I come with a USB-C cable, like every other futuristic gadget in your life. Plug me in, and I’ll be back to mesmerizing your feline in no time.
I know, I know—you’re impatient. Lucky for you, I don’t believe in making my fans wait:
- My humans (yes, I have minions) will pack and ship me within 1-2 business days from our US warehouse.
- Once I’m on the move, I’ll arrive at your doorstep in 2-3 days.
- Right now, I’m conquering the United States. If you’re somewhere else, hold tight—I’ll be taking over the world soon.
So, order me now. Your cat’s life is about to get way more interesting.
